<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Avengers: Gotham Adventures by The_Devil_In_The_Details_666</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26020882">The Avengers: Gotham Adventures</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666/pseuds/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666'>The_Devil_In_The_Details_666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Avengers and Avian Animals [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Batfam Meets the Avengers, Canon? What's A Canon?, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, More Multiverse Shenanigans, Multiverse, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sequel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:14:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26020882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666/pseuds/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months after the Batboys ended up in the Avengers universe, the Avengers decide to pay a visit to Gotham. </p>
<p>It goes about as well as you'd think.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Batfam Members &amp; The Avengers, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Avengers and Avian Animals [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>380</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So. I said that this might take awhile to get written/posted depending on my writing goblin's mood. </p>
<p>Turns out that my writing goblin was very much in the mood for more Batboys and Avengers together and decided it wanted to work on this instead of any of the other 5 billion WIPs I have. </p>
<p>So yeah. Here you go. My Tumblr is The-Devil-In-The-Details-666 if anyone wants to come yell at me about the Batfam or even just say hello.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve was incredibly dizzy when he came through the portal, feeling like he was about to throw up, and nearly stumbled off the rafter he was standing on. The portal spat out Tony, Natasha, Clint, and Spiderman, then closed with an ear-splitting bang as Tony lifted his face-plate and doubled over, vomiting. Spiderman swayed unsteadily, then sat down on the rafter with a thump, putting his head between his knees and lifting his mask to expose his mouth like he was about to puke himself. Clint and Natasha both crouched down, clutching their heads, and Steve sat down on the rafter himself and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths until the dizziness and nausea faded. When he finally opened his eyes back up, he nearly toppled backwards off the rafter in surprise when he found himself face to mask with a person dressed entirely in black, a full face mask like Spiderman’s hiding their features and a stylized gold bat on their chest. A hand grabbed the front of Steve’s shirt, steadying him, and the person tipped their head slightly, then pressed something on their belt and gave a few hand signs. Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times, then asked, “Who are you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a split second of consideration, he brought his hands up and signed the question as well, albeit probably not right if Clint’s snort was anything to go by. Despite not being able to see the person’s face, Steve could tell they were giving him a judgmental look. Then, finger-spelling along with their words, the person introduced, “Batgirl.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve raised an eyebrow at her and she looked up as the familiar red-helmeted Jason dropped in through the broken skylight, landing with a heavy thump and stating, “Agent A said you called for backup.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve waved awkwardly and Jason sighed, then pulled off his helmet to reveal a red domino mask and asked, “What in the french fried fuck are you doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Batgirl giggled and Steve reflexively scolded, “Watch your language.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. Why the fuck are you here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tony finally looked up and answered, “We were curiously about Gotham.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jason brought one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, then muttered, “You were curious about… Dammit, now I owe Little Red forty bucks.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Batgirl patted his arm in a way that managed to feel mocking even to Steve and Jason grumbled, “Yeah, yeah, shut up. I know I shouldn’t bet against him. He’s just so cute when he gets all competitive.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Batgirl patted his arm again, then, after a moment of thought, stated, “Whipped.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am not whipped!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Batgirl just stared at him, practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>radiating </span>
  </em>
  <span>judgement, and Jason wilted, muttering mutinously, “I am not whipped.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then he turned his attention onto the group and typed something into his wrist computer, ordering, “Come with me. B’s gonna be pissed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Avengers who had come all got up and, at Jason’s direction, descended to the floor as a sleek red car pulled up outside.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Turns out that you have to actually press "Post" to post the next chapter. Who'd've thought?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jason herded the Avengers into the car, silencing the protests from Tony and Spiderman with a glare. Batgirl watched silently, perched on a nearby lamppost, then, as Steve squeezed into the backseat of the car beside Clint, hopped down and slipped into the passenger seat. Jason settled in the driver’s seat and looked back at all five of the Avengers jammed in the backseat with a smirk, asking, “You comfortable back there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve frowned at him and looked over the group. Spiderman had ended up in Tony’s lap and Clint was halfway in Natasha’s lap and halfway in Steve’s, shifting awkwardly. Before any of them could answer what was no doubt a rhetorical question, though, Jason slammed on the gas and the car jerked into motion. Batgirl laughed quietly as Jason drove like a maniac, the view out the window blurry and dark from the speed and the fact that it was nighttime. Then Jason slammed on the brakes, jerking the wheel so the car spun, and Batgirl threw her door open as Jason shouted, “Get in, loser! We’ve got guests!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A blonde girl in purple hopped into the car, settling in Batgirl’s lap, and closed the door, turning to look at the Avengers squeezed in the backseat. Then she asked, “Are these those weirdos that you guys ran into in the alternate universe a few months ago? The ones that thought Little Red was like 16?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint snorted a laugh at that, then answered, “The very ones. Who might you be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde girl grinned, then answered, “Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>might be</span>
  </em>
  <span> Spoiler.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jason slammed on the gas again and Spoiler cursed in surprise, clinging to Batgirl and asking, “Who the fuck taught you to drive, you maniac?!?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, then Jason, sounding extremely guilty, answered, “Talia?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a beat of silence, then Spoiler asked, “She knows how to drive?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jason took a corner at roughly a hundred miles an hour, then answered, “Honestly? I don’t think so. Also. I’m usually a pretty good driver. I just like going fast. Especially when I know I won’t get pulled over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took another corner and Steve had to grab the door to keep from being flung into Tony’s lap, then asked, “Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Cave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve opened his mouth, then wheezed as the car spun to a stop and he was flung against the door. The door opened a moment later, sending Steve spilling onto a cold stone floor, and the arrogant voice of Damian asked, “Which fool allowed </span>
  <em>
    <span>Todd</span>
  </em>
  <span> to drive?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spoiler got out of the car as Steve slowly stood and Jason got out, closing his door with a distinctly shit-eating grin and answering, “Your mother, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In a heartbeat, Damian had launched himself across the car and tackled Jason to the ground, hissing something in what Steve was pretty sure was Arabic and was almost certain was swearing. Natasha arched one eyebrow as she and Clint climbed out of the car and Clint reached back in to cover Spiderman’s ears, joking, “That is some very much not PG language.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spoiler grinned maniacally, then moved to stand behind Batgirl and asked, “He really is a motherfucker, isn’t he, Damian?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian’s cursing grew in volume as he and Jason wrestled on the floor and Steve glanced around the large cavern they were in to see if anyone was going to stop them. No one appeared to be interested in stepping in, so Steve stepped forward to intervene. Before he could, though, a distinctly British voice drifted through the cavern, scolding, “Master Damian, please release Master Jason. Master Jason, Miss Stephanie, please stop antagonizing Master Damian.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian growled, but released Jason, slinking back into the shadows. Jason stood, straightening his jacket and dusting himself off, and stated, “In my defense, I was telling the truth. Talia was the one who first taught me to drive, thereby being the first person to allow me to drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An older man in an impeccable black suit emerged from the shadows like all the rest of the Batfamily Steve had met did, one gray eyebrow arched high. Jason wilted and muttered an apology, followed by Spoiler. Once they had apologized, the man nodded approvingly and stated, “If you are quite done here, everyone else is upstairs awaiting you and our guests.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man then walked off again. Batgirl pulled off her mask, revealing an Asian woman in her early twenties with chin-length black hair. Spoiler followed suit and the pair melted into the shadows as Jason ordered, “Wait here for a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he too disappeared and Steve turned to look at the rest of the Avengers, his confusion no doubt evident on his face. Tony and Clint’s bewildered faces, Natasha’s implacable expression, and Spiderman’s mask all stared back at him and, after a moment, Clint commented, “They really take the whole ‘Bat’ thing seriously, huh? I mean, c’mon? A cave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve couldn’t help his laugh and answered, slightly incredulously, “I have to respect them for holding to their theme, I suppose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony shifted slightly before bringing one hand up to press his chest piece, sending the nanites that made up his suit zipping back into the chest piece. At Steve’s confused look, Tony shrugged and stated, “It was starting to get a bit much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha was looking around the cave curiously and Spiderman was fidgeting awkwardly, bringing his hands up and dropping them back down like he was debating removing his mask. The group lapsed into awkward silence for a few minutes and Steve was about to say something to break it when Jason returned, dressed in a pair of worn black sweatpants and a red hoodie. He raised an eyebrow at the group, then stated, “No uniforms upstairs. Stark, you’re fine. Rest of you, not so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave Natasha, Clint, Spiderman, and Steve an appraising look, then stated, “Natasha, you’re pretty close to Selina’s size. Steve, you’ll probably be fine in Clark’s stuff. Clint, you’re pretty on par with Dick. Spiderkid… Hmmm. Duke’s clothes should fit you. Might be a bit big, though. Gimme a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He disappeared back into the shadows and Steve considered what he had said, then observed, “I remember Dick, but do any of you know who Selina, Clark, or Duke are?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony rolled his eyes, then asked, “How would any of us know that, Capsicle? We’ve never been here either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment later, Jason returned and gestured for the Avengers to follow him. He led them through a seemingly never-ending cave before they finally reached an area with an absolutely massive computer and a bunch of stuff that threw Steve for a loop. There was an enormous penny, a giant green dinosaur, a huge playing card, and all sorts of other random items. Jason led them through a door carved into the cave wall into a smaller room that looked like a gym’s locker room, then pointed them each into a different changing stall. Steve entered the one that he had been directed into and found a blue t-shirt with a weird, decorative S in a red and yellow gem shape on it, along with a pair of grey sweatpants. He changed, a little surprised at how well the clothes fit him, and folded his suit up neatly before stepping out of the changing stall. Natasha stepped out a minute later, dressed in black yoga pants and a black shirt with a cat on it. Clint emerged a few seconds after her, in bright blue sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and finally, after nearly five minutes, Peter emerged from the stall Spiderman had been ushered into, dressed in a yellow hoodie and grey sweatpants. Steve blinked at him, mouth opening and closing, but, before he could think of anything to say to the revelation that Peter was Spiderman, Jason stated, “You can put your uniforms on the table over there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve set his folded uniform on the table Jason had indicated, still reeling from the revelation, and the whole group silently followed Jason up a set of long stone stairs. As they climbed higher, Steve’s enhanced hearing began to pick up on a low murmur of voice that grew steadily louder as they ascended. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all. I started college today. Albeit, we're online right now, but like. College. Damn.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The group soon emerged through another door into a hallway lined with portraits. Steve let out a low whistle at the extravagant sight and Tony raised an eyebrow, muttering something under his breath about senators. Jason rolled his eyes and answered, “Yeah, Bruce’s interior design style is old as shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he led them down the hallway towards where Steve could hear voices talking over one another, laughing and arguing. They soon reached a massive kitchen, where at least a dozen people were gathered around a huge round table. Steve recognized Bat-Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian, as well as Batgirl and Spoiler, but the rest of the group was new to him. He couldn’t help but note that nearly everyone in the group had either black or red hair, with Spoiler as the only exception, and, in the back of his mind, he wondered if they were all related. Jason moved to stand beside Tim, pressing a kiss to Tim’s head, then called, “We’ve got company.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All at once, the entire group fell silent and turned to stare at the Avengers in eerie unison, making Steve consider, just for a moment, the possibility of them being a hivemind. Then one of the women, a beautiful woman with long black hair and a very sparkly necklace, leaned over to a woman in a wheelchair with long red hair and muttered, not as quietly as she probably intended, “I’ve always preferred dark hair, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>mee-ow. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m starting to think I could learn to like blonde.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve felt heat creep up his neck and Natasha snickered as Bat-Bruce sighed heavily, sounding tired as he asked, “Please behave yourself, Selina.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman, Selina, rolled her eyes and patted Bat-Bruce’s shoulder, teasing, “Never have, never will, handsome. Besides, do you know how hard it is to find someone with a build like yours? Gotta take every opportunity I get.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jason snorted, flicking something at Selina, and shot back, “Cry us a river, crazy cat lady.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few seats down from Selina, next to Dick, a teenaged boy who was dressed in a bright yellow hoodie like the one Peter was wearing looked over at the Avengers, then advised, “I’d run while you still can. Spend too much time with these nutcases and they’ll drag you into their crazy and then you’ll get too used to it and you’ll never get out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick laughed, throwing one arm around the teen’s shoulders, and cheerily answered, “Aww, c’mon, Duke. We’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, are we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The teen, Duke, raised one eyebrow in a judgmental expression to rival Nat’s before replying, “I think the fact that we have a ‘Days since Someone Got Stabbed’ counter on the fridge that hasn’t reached double digits in at least two years is a pretty good answer to that question, Mr. Swings-On-Chandeliers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick laughed and Duke’s deadpan expression broke into a smile. Finally, Tim cleared his throat and introduced, “Everyone, this is Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton. They’re heroes from an alternate universe that I got thrown into a few months back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, then continued, “Avengers, this is some of our world’s heroes. Like. A handful. So. Here we go. Clark Kent, Superman and Bruce’s boyfriend. Conner Kent, Superboy and Clark’s… Son? Yeah, sure, son. Close enough. Selina Kyle, Catwoman, Bruce’s ex-girlfriend and current friend. Barbara Gordon, Oracle, Dick’s girlfriend for some reason even though she can definitely do better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick gave a noise of protest at that, which Tim summarily ignored as he took another deep breath and continued, “Duke Thomas, The Signal and current holder of the singular brain cell shared amongst the Wayne family, Alfred excluded. Colin Wilkes, Abuse and Damian’s boyfriend. Jon Kent, also Superboy, yes it’s confusing, no I don't have answers, and Clark’s son. Cassandra Cain, Batgirl and my favorite sibling. Stephanie Brown, Spoiler and my ex-girlfriend because she realized that she could do better. Kate Kane, Batwoman, Bruce’s cousin. And, last but most certainly not least, Alfred Pennyworth, the most badass butler I’ve ever met and one of the only two people in this convoluted mess of a family capable of making more than one good life choice a week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve looked over the group, repeating their names to himself, and a guy about Tim’s age, Conner, asked, “Wait, who’s the second?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The redhead in the wheelchair, Barbara, raised her hand silently as she took a drink from her mug and Conner nodded, answering, “Yeah, that’s fair. For a minute there I thought Tim was trying to claim that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the second and I didn’t wanna be the one to have to break the news to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tim laughed dryly and answered, “I’m well aware that, for all my skills, making good life choices is not one of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It really, really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn’t, dude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tim rolled his eyes as the table devolved back into chattering, then looked over at the Avengers and stated, “You can sit, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment of hesitation, Peter slid into the empty chair next to Stephanie and started talking with her. Tony dropped into the chair next to Peter and Natasha moved to sit between Tim and Selina. Clint moved to sit on Jason’s other side, leaving Steve standing alone for a minute before he moved to sit beside Clark. Clark gave him a warm smile that Steve couldn’t help but return and Steve asked, “So, uh, Clark, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark’s smile grew at that and he answered, “Yep. And you’re Steve, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded and they continued chatting for a bit. As the night dragged on, Steve noticed Bat-Bruce slowly leaning against Clark’s side, nodding off. Clark, to his credit, simply wrapped one arm around Bat-Bruce and gently adjusted the man’s head so he didn’t wake up with a crick in his neck. From across the table, Stephanie giggled and Steve heard the click of a camera phone. Steve soon found himself yawning despite himself and, when he looked around the table, he noticed that everyone else had already disappeared, presumably having gone to bed. Clark gave him another smile, then stated, “I can show you to your room if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve yawned again, then answered, “That would be great. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark smiled, then gently picked Bat-Bruce up in a show of surprising strength. Bat-Bruce jerked awake and, at his grumbled complaints, Clark set him down, keeping one arm around Bat-Bruce’s shoulders and stating, “Give me just a minute to get him up to bed, then I’ll come down and show you to your room.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Clark helped Bat-Bruce over to where a pair of crutches were leaned against the wall and then out of the room, Steve made a mental note of the white cast that encased Bat-Bruce’s left leg. He shifted awkwardly, but, to his surprise, he didn’t have to wait long for Clark to return to the kitchen without Bat-Bruce. Clark gave him a smile and gestured for him to follow. As they walked, Steve commented, “You must be pretty strong to be able to lift and carry Bruce. Are you enhanced?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark gave an awkward little laugh, one hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, and answered, “I, uh, kinda? I mean, I’m not really… human. I’m an alien.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve opened his mouth, surprise no doubt written all over his face, and Clark blushed, explaining, “I was sent to Earth as a baby, just before Krypton, my home planet, was destroyed. My cousin Kara and I are the only survivors.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark looked a little wistful, but shrugged it off, answering, “It is, but I’m also glad I ended up on Earth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An awkward silence filled the air between them and Steve finally asked, “So, uh, Tim mentioned that Conner and Jon are your sons?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark gave another awkward little laugh, then replied, “Jon is, yes. Conner is… a bit more complicated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve raised an eyebrow curiously and Clark sighed, then explained, “Conner is a clone of me, sort of. This supervillain, Lex Luthor, used my DNA alongside his own to create Conner to use as a weapon against me. After Tim and some of the other teen heroes at the time rescued Conner from the lab he was grown in, I was kind of a jerk to him for awhile because I couldn’t really handle the fact that I had a clone of me mixed with my arch-nemesis’s DNA grown without my consent to be used as a weapon against me, but I eventually got over it. But by that point, my adoptive parents had decided they would raise him as their second son and it was a little too late for me to be his dad, so I’m basically just his older brother. Like I said, it’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally asking, as respectfully as possible, “Is cloning a normal occurrence?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark looked thoughtful, which did not bode well, and finally answered, “Yes and no. For most people, no, getting cloned by a supervillain isn’t really normal. In this family, however… Well. Um. It’s not as uncommon as you might expect. I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span> speaking, Damian is sort of a clone of Bruce? I mean, in the same way that Kon is a clone of me, that is. Talia al Ghul… She, uh, she drugged Bruce and. Um. Stole some genetic material? And like, half cloned him from that with her own DNA mixed in. And, uh, one of Jason’s friends, Bizarro, is a clone of me who didn’t go as expected. So. Y’know. Not as uncommon as you’d think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve blinked, mulling that over, and, after a few seconds of silence, joked, “I’m starting to feel a bit out of my depth here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clark patted his shoulder as they reached a door and, sounding entirely sincere, replied, “Don’t worry, you get used to it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he opened the door to a lavish bedroom and showed Steve in before bidding him goodnight and heading off to wherever he was staying.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next morning, Steve was awakened by a sudden weight landing on his thighs. He jerked up in surprise, wondering where he was for a minute before remembering the portal and insanity that followed, then looked down at his lap, where a black and white cat was standing, looking at Steve with an expression of deep offense. Steve blinked down at the cat, wondering if he was losing his mind, and finally picked the cat up gently, placing the fluffy critter to the side and getting out of the bed. The cat gave him another offended look, then walked in a circle on the bed and settled down in a little blob of fur. Steve stared at it for a moment, then stepped out of the room, almost walking directly into a dark-skinned woman in her twenties who he didn’t recognize. She raised an eyebrow at him, then brought one hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, counting backwards from ten under her breath. When she reached 1, she looked back up at him and asked, “Are you a new… </span>
  <em>
    <span>business associate</span>
  </em>
  <span> of Bruce’s?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She somehow managed to make the question sound like a threat in a way that Steve had come to associate with Pepper and Steve fought the desire to take a step back, then answered, “Um. No, ma’am. Just a visitor.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The woman took a deep breath, then asked, “A visitor? From where?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally replying, “Um. New York, ma’am.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The woman took another deep breath, then turned on one terrifyingly tall heel and stormed down the hallway, shouting, “Timothy Jackson Drake, you get your cowardly ass out here this instant and explain yourself!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve blinked in surprise, then, after a moment of consideration, turned and walked down the hall in the direction that the woman had come from. After several dozen twists and turns, as well as walking in a few circles, Steve found the staircase and descended, only to freeze in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a cow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a large black and white cow standing at the base of the stairs, munching on a vase of flowers. It looked up at him as he reached the base of the stairs, then mooed once and continued munching on the flowers. Steve stared at it for several long minutes, then finally decided to just try to find the dining room and see if anyone was awake. It took him a few tries, but he was soon able to pick up on the sound of voices and follow it to the dining room, where Tim, the woman Steve had bumped into, and an older man in a suit with similar features to the woman were sitting. Tim was dressed in an odd mix of squirrel-printed pajama pants, a half-buttoned dress shirt over an oversized t-shirt, a perfectly tied blue tie, and a suit jacket, his hair in a tiny little ponytail at the base of his neck and a mug with “Local Goblin'' emblazoned on it cradled in his hands like it was something precious. The man looked distinctly amused and Tim frowned at him, grumping, “Your demon daughter told me I was late to a meeting with the Paris division.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man laughed at that, then answered, “I asked Tam to go and nicely wake you up so we can discuss Luthor’s newest proposal.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim muttered something about eggs under his breath and the woman rolled her eyes, answering, “As delightful as that video of Luthor getting egged is, we unfortunately can’t just email him the link as a response to his proposal. We are mature adult businesspeople, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mr. Drake-Wayne</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim scowled, then took a swig from his mug and asked, “How close to flat-out telling him to eat shit can I get?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As close as you can make sound professional. I suggest ‘Due to ideological conflicts between Wayne Enterprises and LexCorp, Wayne Enterprises will unfortunately have to decline the proposed project between Wayne Enterprises and LexCorp.’ A professional way of saying that due to Lex Luthor being a supervillain and a grade-A asshole, he and his company can eat shit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim nodded, mulling it over, then answered, “This is why you’re the greatest assistant a person could ask for, Tam.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The woman, Tam, nodded firmly, shooting back, “And don’t you forget it, Tim.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“However could I? You’d never let me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve cleared his throat and Tim glanced up at him, then greeted, “Hey, Steve. Tam, Lucius, meet Steve. He’s a hero from another universe. Steve, Tam and Lucius Fox. They work with me and Bruce at Wayne Enterprises.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve nodded and settled into a seat down the table from them as Alfred and Jason entered the dining room. Both had a tray of breakfast foods in their hands and Alfred had a large box under one arm. He set his tray down, then handed the box to Tim, stating, “A package was delivered for you, Master Tim.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jason settled into the chair beside Tim and began plating up the food as Tim narrowed his eyes at the box and started to push it away, making a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. In response, Tam pushed it back at him, ordering, “Open it, coward. I wanna see what that creep sent you this time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim scowled, but, when Jason offered him a pocket knife, took it and sliced the top of the box open, stating, “If I find lingerie in this thing, I swear I’m gonna puke.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred set an empty mixing bowl on the table next to Tim’s elbow, then requested, “Do be sure to aim for the bowl, Master Tim. It is quite a chore to get stains out of this rug.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim pouted at him, then opened the box and immediately recoiled like it had burned him, his whole face flaring red. Jason leaned over to look into the box and promptly choked on the piece of bacon he had just taken a bite of, covering his mouth with a napkin as he coughed. Tam raised an eyebrow and leaned across the table, then jerked back, asking, “Is that a dildo?!?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim slid out of his chair to hide under the table and, when Steve looked under the table, he found Tim curled up in a fetal position on the rug. When he looked back up, Jason, looking nauseated, was re-entering the dining room with a black trash bag, which he used to pick up a dildo that looked to be nearly the size of Steve’s arm. He dropped it into the bag and tied the bag closed, then stated, “I’m setting his cape on fire next time I see him. Actually. No. I’m setting </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> on fire next time I see him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim slowly emerged from under the table, making Steve think of a groundhog emerging from its den, and scolded, almost absent-mindedly, “No killing, Jay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jason scowled, but acquiesced, “Fine. I’ll just set his cape on fire.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim nodded and looked back in the box cautiously, removing an ornate red and gold necklace and bracelet from the box and sighing, “Think he’ll figure out that every piece of extravagant jewelry he sends just ends up going to either Selina or your college fund?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jason dropped back into the seat beside Tim and answered, “Well, he still hasn’t figured out that you’re not interested, so probably not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim pulled out his phone, taking a picture of the jewelry, then set the jewelry aside and pulled out an ornately carved dagger. Jason whistled lowly and leaned in to look at the dagger, then commented, “Pretty ballsy of him to send you a pointy object.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim half-heartedly swatted him, then answered, “You’re a jerk, Jay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jason kissed the top of Tim’s head with a laugh, then returned to eating his breakfast. Steve’s face no doubt showed his confusion and Tim rolled his eyes, stating, “Just ask whatever you’re thinking.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve hesitated, then asked, “Who sent you… that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim made a face of sheer disgust, then spat, “Ra’s al Ghul, or, as he is known in this family, Raisin Goose. He’s got a weird obsession with me and wants to marry me, despite being nearly a thousand years older than me. I think I mentioned him before. Creepy stalker, likes to send me weird gifts and the occasional phallic fruit basket? Runs the murder cult that Jason and Damian were part of for a while?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve blinked, certain that his face looked like he had just been smacked, and slowly answered, “Oh. I see.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced around to see if anyone else was surprised by that information, but everyone else was acting like what Tim had said was completely normal. After a minute of just staring at Tim, Steve pushed his confusion to the side and asked, “What are you going to do about it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aside from ignore him and occasionally egg him when he comes to Gotham? Not much. Every little bit of attention he gets just fuels his delusion that I’m actually into him and playing hard to get. Though, a while ago I had Jay burn down and graffiti a bunch of his bases.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve nodded, taking a minute to process the information as more people trickled into the room. The table was soon occupied by all of the Avengers and most of the Bat-Family, with only Kate, Colin, and Selina missing, and the noise level steadily increased as arguments got started.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breakfast ended pretty quickly and the family soon dispersed, leaving Cassandra, Damian, and Stephanie behind with the Avengers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We should put glitter in the Batmobile’s vents.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve stared at Stephanie and she stared back, the gleam in her eyes practically daring Steve to be the responsible one and say no. Before Steve could say anything, Peter tipped his head and asked, “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stephanie shrugged, leaning back in her chair and answering, “I’m sure he’s done something to necessitate vengeance. He usually has.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tony raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to no doubt agree, but Steve suddenly blurted, “You should do something to someone who has actually done something to deserve vengeance, like that guy, Raisin or whatever Tim had called him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stephanie quirked an eyebrow, but brought one hand up to stroke an invisible goatee, musing, “Yes, I like that. Just what do you propose, Steve?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve blanked out, scrambling for an idea, and Peter lit up, blurting, “We could make a glitter bomb!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chills went down Steve’s spine at Stephanie’s grin and she answered, “Oh, I like the way you think, Peter.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Peter beamed and Stephanie stood, announcing, “Operation Glitter Bomb is a go. Who wants in?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone raised their hands and Stephanie grinned, then stated, “Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two hours later, the group had nearly fifty pounds of ultra-fine glitter in purple, red, gold, black, and blue, as well as a plan for how to build the glitter bombs. As they worked, Cassandra’s expression suddenly turned even more mischievous than it had been previously and she darted upstairs, returning with a handful of empty water balloons and a gallon jug of olive oil. She set them on the table with a smile and Stephanie lit up like a lightbulb, everything about her expression promising chaos and trouble to come. Steve raised an eyebrow and Cassandra gave a grin of her own, then began filling the balloons with the glitter and oil. They soon finished and Clint leaned back in his seat, asking, “Now, how do we get the bombs to this Raisin guy?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stephanie grinned and answered, “Easy. We call Conner. As long as we have a spare one he can deliver to Lex Luthor’s office, he’ll deliver them for us.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The name Lex Luthor rang a bell in Steve’s brain and he slowly asked, “Lex Luthor is the one who cloned Clark to make Conner, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stephanie looked surprised, then, typing on her phone while she talked, answered, “Yep. Conner finds it funny to send him ‘gifts’ on Father’s Day and his birthday. For his birthday, he and Tim made a video of Lex getting egged go viral. I have no doubt Conner will love the glitter bomb. We made one with red and black specially for him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her phone vibrated and she glanced at it, then grinned and answered, “He’ll be here in twenty. I’ll go ask Babs to hack the League’s cameras again. And then we'll go put the spare glitter in the Batmobile's vents.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>